Let's address one of the most sensitive topics in wedding planning: whether to include children at your reception. As owners of an intimate wedding venue in St. Augustine, we've seen both child-free and kid-inclusive celebrations work beautifully. There's no universal right or wrong answer—only the right choice for YOUR vision and YOUR guests.
Our role isn't to tell you what to decide. Instead, we want to help you make an informed choice that creates the celebration you're dreaming of, while understanding how intimate venue dynamics play into this decision. After hosting dozens of weddings at 9 Aviles, we've learned what works—and what creates challenges—when it comes to kids at intimate celebrations.
Understanding Your Options
The Child-Free Reception
Many couples choose an adult-only celebration, and it's a perfectly valid option. Here's why it works:
- Adults can fully relax: Your guests can enjoy themselves without dividing attention between socializing and childcare
- Easier timeline management: No need to work around naptime or bedtime schedules
- More sophisticated atmosphere: Creates an elegant, refined ambiance for your celebration
- Rare date night for guests: Parents often appreciate the opportunity to dress up and enjoy an evening out
- Simpler planning: Streamlined catering choices and logistical considerations
The Kid-Inclusive Reception
Other couples embrace a family-centered celebration, which has its own wonderful advantages:
- Complete guest list: No one has to choose between your wedding and finding childcare
- Family-centered celebration: Reflects the importance of family in your life together
- Special moments: Flower girls, ring bearers, and beloved nieces and nephews become part of your memories
- Unexpected joy: Kids can be surprisingly great dancers and bring spontaneous fun to the celebration
- No babysitter stress: Guests don't need to arrange childcare, especially destination wedding attendees
The Intimate Venue Factor
Here's something crucial to understand: venue size significantly impacts the kids-at-weddings dynamic, and intimate venues have unique considerations.
In a ballroom with 200 guests, children running around may go relatively unnoticed. There's often a separate kids' area, multiple rooms, and enough space for children to expend energy without disrupting the celebration. But in our 50-person intimate space at 9 Aviles, every guest—child or adult—is part of the shared experience.
Consider these intimate venue dynamics:
- The dance floor is a central feature, not a separate area. It's where your first dance, parent dances, and celebration happen—it's not a playground
- Limited space means less room for kids to "escape to" when they need to release energy
- More intimate = everyone notices everything—both the magical moments and the challenging ones
- Professional vendors work in closer quarters, making it harder to navigate around running children
- Décor, cake tables, and equipment are all within easy reach of curious little hands
This doesn't mean children can't attend intimate weddings—they absolutely can, and we've had beautiful celebrations with kids present. But it does mean the supervision factor becomes more critical in an intimate setting.
The Supervision Question
Let's be clear: The challenge isn't children attending weddings—it's unsupervised children at adult events.
In our experience hosting intimate weddings, we've observed a pattern. When parents are actively engaged with their children throughout the celebration, kids can be absolutely delightful additions to the day. They dance adorably, charm guests, and add genuine sweetness to the celebration.
The challenges arise when parents treat the reception as their "night off"—understandably wanting to relax, socialize with friends, and enjoy the open bar. What we've observed in these situations:
- •Parents drinking and socializing may not realize their children are running through the venue or climbing on furniture
- •The dance floor becomes a playground, creating safety concerns when adults are trying to dance
- •Kids hiding under tables, touching décor, or reaching for items on the elegantly set cake table
- •In an intimate space, this disruption affects everyone's experience—not just a corner of a large ballroom
- •Professional vendors (photographers, DJ, catering staff) struggle to work around chaos, impacting the service you've invested in
Here's the key insight: We've found that when parents are actively engaged with their children, kids at weddings can be absolutely delightful. When parents treat the reception as their "night off," challenges arise.
This isn't about judging parents—wedding receptions are often one of the few times they can socialize with other adults. But it's crucial to understand that in an intimate venue, active supervision isn't optional—it's essential for everyone's safety and enjoyment.
Making It Work: If You Choose to Include Children
If you decide to welcome children to your 9 Aviles celebration, strategic planning makes all the difference. Here are practical strategies we've seen work successfully:
Set Clear Expectations
Communication is everything. We recommend couples include a note with their invitations:
"We love your little ones and are excited to celebrate with your whole family! Please plan to supervise your children throughout the evening so everyone can enjoy the celebration safely. Our intimate venue means we'll all be sharing the space together."
This gentle reminder sets the expectation without being preachy, and most parents appreciate the clarity.
Timing Considerations
Schedule your celebration with children's needs in mind:
- Earlier ceremonies and receptions work significantly better (4pm ceremony vs. 7pm)
- Young children get tired and overstimulated as the evening progresses
- Consider ending the reception by 8-9pm if multiple young children are attending
- This allows adults without kids to continue celebrating elsewhere if they choose
Strategic Planning
Smart planning can prevent most kid-related challenges:
- Designate a "kids table": Position it near parents' tables so supervision is easy, not isolated in a corner
- Activity options: Small activity bags or coloring books can help during downtime (but not during dinner or speeches)
- Consider hiring supervision: Some couples hire a babysitter or two to be in the bridal lounge area with activities, giving parents a break while keeping kids safely occupied
- Coordinate with parents beforehand: Talk to parents of young children about expectations and offer to help them plan (like arranging babysitter coverage)
- Strategic seating: Place families with young children near exits so they can step out easily if needed
Catering Considerations
Work with our catering team on kid-friendly options:
- Kid-friendly meal options (pasta, chicken fingers, simpler choices)
- Earlier dinner service so young children eat at an appropriate time
- Smaller portions appropriate for children's appetites
The Bottom Line: At 9 Aviles, children ages 7 and up are absolutely welcome—with the understanding that parents remain engaged and attentive throughout the celebration.
We welcome children ages 7 and older at our intimate venue. This age guideline helps ensure that all guests can fully enjoy the celebration in our cozy space.
The Child-Free Choice: Communicating Gracefully
If you decide on an adult-only celebration, clear and gracious communication is key. The good news? Most guests understand and appreciate child-free weddings when they're communicated clearly.
Invitation Wording
Here are some tactful ways to communicate your decision:
Going the Extra Mile
Consider these thoughtful gestures:
- Provide a list of recommended babysitters or babysitting services in St. Augustine
- Consider hosting a separate kid-friendly event (maybe a brunch the next day at a nearby restaurant)
- Help arrange group childcare if several guests are traveling from out of town
- Acknowledge the inconvenience while being firm about your decision
Remember: It's YOUR day. Choosing an adult-only celebration is not rude—it's a personal choice about the atmosphere you want to create. Most guests will respect and understand your decision.
Questions to Ask Yourself
Still deciding? Here are key questions to guide your choice:
- 1.What time is your reception? Evening celebrations (7pm or later) are significantly harder for young children than afternoon events
- 2.How many children would actually attend? Two or three well-supervised kids is very different from eight or ten
- 3.What's your wedding vibe? Formal and sophisticated, or casual and family-style?
- 4.Do you have relationships with these children, or are they primarily your guests' kids?
- 5.What ages are we talking about? Please note: 9 Aviles welcomes children ages 7 and up. Older, responsible kids (7+) present different dynamics than toddlers and preschoolers in our intimate space
- 6.Will parents be drinking and dancing, or staying close to supervise their children?
- 7.Are you willing to set clear expectations with parents about supervision?
- 8.Could hiring a babysitter for the event make everyone more comfortable?
Our Recommendation for Intimate Venues
After hosting dozens of weddings at 9 Aviles, here's what we've learned:
The most successful kid-inclusive celebrations at intimate venues happen when:
- There are only 2-4 well-supervised children in attendance, OR
- Couples hire a dedicated babysitter to manage a kids' area with activities
When the ratio tips to 6+ unsupervised children, even the most well-meaning parents struggle to keep eyes on everyone. In an intimate 50-person space, the atmosphere can shift dramatically—from elegant celebration to playground management.
That said, we've had absolutely beautiful celebrations with flower girls, ring bearers, and special children who are genuinely part of the couple's life. When these children are included with clear supervision plans, they add sweetness and joy to the day.
The key is ALWAYS supervision—either by attentive parents or by hired childcare professionals.
Whatever You Choose, We Support You
At 9 Aviles, we've successfully hosted both child-free celebrations and kid-inclusive weddings. Both approaches can create beautiful, memorable celebrations when planned thoughtfully.
Our job isn't to make this decision for you—it's to help you understand the intimate venue dynamics so you can create YOUR perfect day. Whether that includes children or not is entirely your personal choice, and we'll work with you to execute your vision beautifully.
If you'd like to discuss your specific situation and guest list as it relates to including children ages 7 and up, we're happy to talk through the logistics during your planning process. Christy has seen it all and can offer personalized guidance based on your unique circumstances.
"There's no wrong answer—only the right choice for YOUR celebration."